Laurie asked me in a comment if I have a list of items for my healing summer. Kathleen asked me how my healing summer is going. My answer to Laurie is yes. To Kathleen I answer better than expected.
My healing summer has progressed better than expected because, as I have mentioned before, I have a tendency to make grand, philosophical plans that feel deep and profound (to me, at least, though I know I can be full of myself at times...ok...often). However, when it comes time to carry out those plans, I flop. No follow-through. No discipline. Like the diet you promise to begin on Monday after purchasing all the special food, spending hours listing what you will eat and when, purging cupboards of junk food, pigging out on Sunday because this is the last time I will ever eat chocolate again. But when Monday comes, you hadn't slept well the night before, green tea just won't cut it so you allow yourself the usual cup of coffee with cream and sugar, the kids bicker, and you just say, "Screw it. Maybe next Monday."
Yes, I made a list at the end of May. I love lists. LOVE lists. I feel deceptively productive while making lists, about which I've written before. Here.
Following is my Healing Summer list, unedited, exactly as it looks on paper:
1. Heal My Body
A. Antibiotic Protocol
B. Enzymes
C. Exercise
D. Diet
2. Heal Relationships
A. Friends I've neglected
--Bob
--
B. My marriage/Carl
[note to blog readers: my marriage is not in imminent danger,
but what marriage couldn't use a little extra attention?]
3. Heal My Perception of Me
[not sure what I meant at the time...]
4. Heal/Accept Healing of My Relationship With God
So far I have flopped with #1. Why do I always put my physical health last, especially when I have special needs physically? Although I can report that I've played Wii tennis religiously. Does that count?
I've done pretty well with #2. I'm beyond happy to be back in touch with Bob. Carl and I are in a happy place. Etc.
Number 3. Hmmm. Turning forty next week has me analyzing my life, my attitudes, my...everything. Without going into a bunch of boring details, I'll comment that I realize I spent much of my thirties feeling like a victim. What a waste.
Number 4. Continuing with number three. If I've been a victim of something, God could've fixed that, being omnipotent and all. I've been pretty pissed at God, at his allowing me to be sick for so long, allowing Hannah to have a brain disorder, allowing me to struggle with chronic pain and the resulting depression. Resentment is never good for the soul, and resenting God proves even more fatal to well-being than resentment towards people.
On a lighter note, in the same comment mentioned earlier, Laurie said, "I could do with a PURGING summer, but it's too overwhelming. In fact, the stress of all these hoarded possessions is putting me in need of going shopping..."
I don't know about you, but that made me laugh, because I relate only too well...
Tomorrow's blog: SILVER DOLLAR CITY! What a day!!!
9 comments:
I stumbled upon your blog thru another link, & I'm glad I did! Keep at it, and remember--when life gives you lemons, make lemonade! Hope to receive a visit from you soon!
hi angela -- thanks for the linky love :)
you sound good and positive overall. and yes, what marriage doesn't need some more attention. and i am turning 40 this summer, too (august) but i still feel not much older than 18 (even though we have 17 and 16 y/o daughters). and yes, your wii exercise sooooo counts. keep the light on girl. take care, kathleen
Veggie mom: Welcome. I hope you return. Funny that you mention that quote. I just read this addition to that quote: "When life hands you lemons, don't just make lemonade, open a lemonade stand." I'm all for that.
Kathleen. You're welcome. I know what you mean about feeling 18. I remember scoffing "older" women who said, "Who is that woman in the mirror." Now I AM that "older" woman. Peace and stillness to you.
I wish you all the best for your healing summer. Remember it all starts within you. As a mom and once being chronically ill myself I know how it easy it can become to put everyone else first. I'd be happy to give you free copy of my ebook if you email me at jennymannion@yahoo.com to help with your summer of healing. It is on how I healed myself of several chronic illnesses and chronic pain. Great blog! Gratefully, Jenny
Here's something that will help sooth your troubled soul during your Healing Summer. They're called Pop'rs, a unique seasoning that goes with just about any kind of food, from applesauce to yogurt, and every food in between. Life just gets better with Pop'rs in the equation. We're having a giveaway, so please check us out at http://poprs.blogspot.com/2008/06/giveaway-tuesday.html
How is the antibiotic protocol progressing?
I cleaned out a bunch of OLD memorabilia today- like, from as long ago as 1986 Letters, photos, newspaper clippings. I could barely carry the bag. And my cupboard looks exactly the same. Maybe I could do one a day?
I've been a slacker here. Sorry.
Veggiemom: I'll check out your contest. I used to be so much better at "eating healthfully".
Jenny: I'll be by soon.
Laurie: (hanging my head in shame)...I need to fill my antibiotic prescription, which isn't as simple as going to my nearest Walgreens, so I've put it off.
I recently went through a catch-all corner in the "building project" and found similar stuff--cards from our wedding, journals, pictures...and still boxes and boxes remain. A small, sick part of me actually hoped a tornado would hit our house! Alas...
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