Tuesday Tranquility Teamed with Gratitude

My Tranquil Tuesdays™ conclude just after my Tuesday babysitter, C, graduates from high school on May 17. She has agreed to babysit for two more Tuesdays, after which she goes on a 3-week tour of the U.S. with the singing group Highest Praise. She has other obligations after touring, then she begins her college career. Has it really been more than twenty years since since I viewed life from that perspective?

C began babysitting when Sheri and I decided to take a Creative Writing course together at the local community college. The class met Tuesday nights and jump-started my friendship with Sheri. After the college class ended, I kept C so that I could also keep my sanity. I home schooled at the time and desperately needed a slice of time to call my own. Now that the girls are in public school, the desperation has receded. I may or may not try to replace C. We'll see how the summer goes.

Tonight I'm spending one of my final Tranquil Tuesdays™ at the library with Van Morrison's Moondance playing through my Bose headphones on my laptop.

We were born before the wind
Also younger than the sun
Ere the bonnie boat was won as we sailed into the mystic
Hark, now hear the sailors cry
Smell the sea and feel the sky
Let your soul and spirit fly into the mystic.

I'm experiencing extreme nostalgia at the moment, feeling very lucky, very blessed. I spent so much self-pity this past winter that, hopefully, the account is dry and replaced by a Gratitude Fund. Moondance takes me back to my dating days with Carl. As a partner in a car stereo company, he had a rockin' sound system (very important in my early twenties). We would crank Van Morrison, smoke a little and head to the lake for a weekend of water skiing, sun and crazy fun with friends. Or maybe to Tahlequah, Oklahoma with our dog, Colonel, to canoe down the Illinois river and camp in a tent alone.






Evenings like this help me to regain perspective, to refresh my point of view. I'm not the first to look in the mirror and realize that the person in the reflection does not resemble the spirit behind the face. My body has aged faster than most, but in my mind's eye I am still the same.

My soul becomes younger every time I appreciate my blessings, so I am spending this moment enumerating my blessings:

1. My dad and his new wife spent a week in southeast Kansas so that they could help me repaint my sad, sad kitchen cupboards and walls. This was prior to my blog, so it didn't live here in infamy. (Maybe I will dig out photos and post them for posterity.)


2. My mom has contributed more to the beauty of my home through her painting and sewing skills than I have with my skills. (Why didn't you pass on that gene, Mom???)


3. I didn't marry R. (OK, this is WAY out of chronological order, but I'm going with chain of thought here.)


4. I DID marry Carl. He pushes all my buttons, but sometimes that's a good thing.


5. Dave and Matt helped with the Building Project just when we needed it.


6. My sister married someone who earned an engineering degree and is a partner in a major Heating and Air company (just when we needed heat and air...thanks Ash & Ed).


7. Just so you know, my sister has a degree of her own and chose to spend her education on her family.


8. Liz began cleaning my house years ago and has become one of my best friends and my counsellor. I joke that I should really be paying her $120 per hour when she's here to clean.


9. C has been a splendid babysitter.


10. Sheri asked me to take that Creative Writing class with her, and later invited me to visit her sister in Pompano Beach, Florida with her...and all the fun in between and since.


11. I have new landscaping that is as beautiful as some I've seen in magazines for small yards...in my humble opinion.


12. I moved to this small town as a complete stranger just over ten years ago and now I would struggle mightily with a decision to move "back home."

I could--most definitely--add to this list, but you get the idea. I'm ever so slowly recognizing that my life is what I look at. I could (and have) looked at my body, that is crippled by rheumatoid arthritis; at my daughter who has a congenital brain defect; at every little--and big--negative element of my life. In fact, my daughter-with-a-congenital-brain-defect is this moment screaming in her sleep, distracting me as I type. Nevertheless, much of my life is determined by what I look at. Yes, I know my sentence is grammatically incorrect, but my intention is spot-on.

I'm hoping I can continue Tranquil Tuesdays™ partially by focusing on gratitude. It sounds lofty, even a little out of my reach. But as summer awaits, I'll keep that as my intention.

I just hope my summer intentions prove more fruitful than those at Christmas.