New Shoe Guilt

This past Friday I did something I haven't done in over five years. I bought new dress shoes. I also purchased new tennis shoes to replace my current, two-year-old tennies . Here they are.

Because my feet are splayed as a result of the arthritis, I need shoes with a large toe box (the part of the shoe that protects the toe and ball of the foot). No pointy-toed stilettos for me, which really breaks my heart. One doesn't find good shoes with wide toe boxes at Super-mart or the local discount shoe store. No, I spent a fortune on the shoes above.

Carl and I have lately discussed saving for nice family vacation, which this purchase slightly set back. So as I drove home from my planned shopping spree, I suffered from sticker shock and guilt proportional to the drop in my bank account. How did I handle that? I called mom, counting on her to say all the things moms say: You need to take care of yourself, too and When is the last time you did something for yourself? To the second one I had to admit to having my nails done while Carl kept Hannah.

However, I still took comfort in the fact that I hadn't purchased dress shoes since before Hannah's birth. For the past two years these are the shoes I've worn with everything: shorts, jeans, black dress slacks...everything.

I have felt like the goob with flashlight feet. Numerous children have asked me if I can boing or if I can jump really high with these shoes, probably visualizing Tigger's bouncing on his tail. On the positive side, I haven't worried about what shoes I would wear for the same two years.

However, these thoughts coupled with mom's reassurance still didn't erase my last little guilty-mom feeling that my needs deprived the rest of my family. Hesitating because she never wants to cause turmoil, Mom finally said, "Think of it this way. How much did Carl spend on his deer head?"

I spent slightly more than it cost Carl to stuff this sucker in February, but my guilt is lifted. And my shoes are much better looking than a dead animal on the wall.