Tested

You know how in Wednesday's post I wrote that I would "baptize" my own attitude? Ha! It seems that whenever I make pious declarations like that, I am tested. To the max.

First of all, I wrote that I would take pictures of the laundry cubby. That's difficult when one can't find the camera. The last time I recall having it, I had allowed Katie and Hailey to borrow it so that they could take a picture of the layout of the "town" they had created before moving said town to their upstairs bedroom to keep their downstairs bedroom neat. The camera has since disappeared. As you know, I don't have any pictures of St. Nicholas Day as a result.

I also wrote that I planned to pace myself to prepare for St. Nicholas Day, a day we have celebrated for about seven years now. On the Wednesday morning prior to the Thursday celebration, I had the following conversation with Carl.

"What kind of day do you have today?"

"They're stacked deep." Carl replied, rushed.

"What do you think of rescheduling some of your work to Friday so you can get home at a decent time? Tomorrow is St. Nicholas Day and I could really use the extra help." Carl does not work on Fridays, a decision we made several years ago to allow more family time and to help us cope with my arthritis.

"That's a great idea. I'll think about it."

I've had "St. Nicholas Day!!!" with a smiley face on the "control center" calendar we keep so that all family members can communicate and know what's going on in our house. Plus, as I've written, we've celebrated this day every December 6 for seven years. I continued with my day, assuming that Carl & I were on the same page, until about 6:30 when I called Carl.

"How's your day going?" I asked.

"Not good. This job is kicking my butt and I have two more after it."

"What?! Where are you? Were you able to reschedule any of your jobs to Friday?"

Sounding confused and off-kilter, Carl replied "I'm in Coffeyville." That's 45 minutes from our home. "No, I didn't reschedule anything," he said in a way that made me think he didn't know why I would ask to reschedule.

"Did you try?"

"No."

"Do you remember our conversation about rescheduling? Tomorrow is St. Nicholas Day," I responded with rapidly growing irritation. I detailed our previous exchange to him.

His exact words: "I don't know how I missed that."

I won't continue with the conversation because it doesn't portray me very nicely. Carl arrived home at 8:45 p.m. I awoke at 2:30 Thursday morning with my mind racing through the preparations that still needed completed, so I got up at that time. Can you say sleep deprivation? Needless to say, my good-attitude-intentions have been flushed down our barely-flushing toilet.

Friday I agreed that Carl should go to work to catch up on some remote start installations and make a few needed extra bucks before Christmas. No problem there except Hailey's first basketball game was Saturday morning, a game I expected Carl to attend not only to support Hailey (not selfish on my part), but also to help me carry the parenting load (maybe a little selfish on my part). Carl, on the other hand, could not see the logic in leaving for the tournament at 11:00 when he needed to install a hot water heater and the local hardware store closed at noon.

He attended the game, expecting--as I did--to return right afterwards. It was a tournament, meaning they played more than once. We should have realized that, but we're new to this basketball business. Plus, by the end of the crazy week, I wasn't exactly on top of my own game. I took a silently fuming Carl home, returned Hailey to Parsons to play her second game, then travelled back home. When I arrived I found Carl installing yet another remote start in our garage instead of finishing the hot water tank. I vacillated between being grateful that Carl is a hard-working provider and being aggravated at the intrusion. To my credit, I remained silent.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, we still have no hot water. Carl needed a few more parts, which I'm assuming he couldn't get because of me...but I'm not crazy enough to ask. We've had a disagreement about priorities and I know I'm partly wrong...but I'm not ready yet to admit it. For now, in the words of Terri Clark, I just wanna be mad for a while. If you click on those lyrics, make sure you read the chorus if nothing else.

So much for my intention to keep a good attitude during this holiday season. Fortunately I have several more days during which I can improve my current attitude, but I'm not making any promises...I'm not yet up to the challenge.