Pre-Christmas Conditions

Inside the Solomon house the television sings Frosty the Snowman at a ridiculous decibel, my table displays the evidence of today's bookwork and our water remains shut off while Carl replaces the hot water tank. Dirty dishes dictate over the kitchen. Hannah, naked as usual, swiffers the floor with the fourth swiffer of the night...at least someone is cleaning.

Here in southeast Kansas we brace for our first winter storm of the season, but you wouldn't know it from my front porch. I step outside for a moment to see if the anticipated winter storm has arrived and when I shut my front door I arrive in another world, a world I had almost forgotten. The air feels cold, wet, still. And quiet. Very quiet. It smells like late fall, the musty scent of wet leaves with frozen rain in the distance. I can see the town's streetlight Christmas decorations illuminating the street.

CHRISTMAS! SSScchhllluuuurrrrp. That's the sound of my being sucked back into reality. I return inside to hear John Goodman's voice singing loudly through Frosty's mouth. My "mommy magnet" immediately draws every family member to me the minute I step back inside.

"Mom, do you want to know the highlight of my day?" Katie asks.

"Sure. What was the highlight of your day."

"V bit C in the library." (The names have been withheld to protect the not-so-innocent.)

"You're kidding!" I respond with the expected incredulousness.

"No. I'm not! V lied and said that he bit C because C whapped him upside the head. But really, C whapped him upside the head because V bit C."

I struggle to keep up. "Did anyone go to the principal's office?"

"Yeah. V had to go. So did A and Ca because they were witnesses."

Suddenly Hailey pipes in, "V is always in trouble. He's a," get this... "a hypological liar."

A what? I laugh out loud, then send the girls to get ready for bed. I long to go back to the quiet place, though I'm not much for cold and wet. However, we begin our Christmas traveling on December 20 and I still have shopping to do. Preferable Internet shopping. Walking around a mall-sized superstore amongst other frazzled--and faster--shoppers is not conducive to Christmas spirit. I'm the shopper with the cart moving at a slow speed that occasionally earns a dirty look or heavy sigh. That's in the superstore. In comparison, I'm a whiz at Internet shopping. Except for the time I waste browsing.

Still no water. We've filled the tub so we can flush the toilet (thanks, Lori, for that bit of information.) Did you know that's the reason you should fill your tub during inclement weather? It isn't to drink. It's to flush. A Florida friend of mine learned that the hard way during Hurricane Andrew.

This has certainly been a meandering blog entry. I spent about three minutes trying to think of a way to tie it all together. No luck. This is it.