Deciding Not to Decide

The whole Ritalin thing really has me down. I haven't written anything, I haven't started anything, I haven't done...anything. Well, except ponder, then talk to whomever is available: Mom, Sheri, Liz, my sister, the checkout lady at the grocery store.

Instead of dealing with this issue I have worked diligently on our business bookwork in escapist fashion, travelled to Tulsa for my own doctor appointment and avoided Hannah's teachers when picking her up from school. Oh, and I've watched Supernanny on TV and determined that if we were better parents Hannah wouldn't be having these problems. A naughty chair would solve them all.

I've decided not to make a decision, which really means I've decided not to medicate Hannah this school year. I want to learn more details: Does she still do well during circle time? Is she only falling behind in her seat work, or has she regressed in other areas as well? What else is available instead of medication? For what length of time does "seat work" last? If it's only thirty to forty-five minutes, would she benefit from one-on-one attention? Is one-on-one attention available? If it isn't available, could I provide it? Would she improve at school if I provided more structure at home, or would more structure push her over the edge?

In a blog comment Tonya recommended, among other things, that we try a rewards system. In knee-jerk fashion I thought been there, done that, doesn't work. However, after giving it some thought I realized that Hannah has matured since we tried stickers and other rewards. Previously Hannah didn't "get it." No sticker? No big deal. However, maybe now she would respond.

This post has been a train-of-thought entry with no real creative writing involved. I have avoided posting because I didn't know what I wanted to do for Hannah, but that has only resulted in a kind of backlog in my brain. Hopefully this rambling post will release some of that build up and give me a new momentum.