Thursday, January 17, 2008

Udder Confusion

I recently sent this movie as a belated gag Christmas gift to my 60-year-old dad (a.k.a. Pop):






Ben, pictured below, was one of the main characters in the movie...






Ben's voice was played by Sam Elliott. Oh baby--Sam Elliott. I remembered him with Patrick Swayze in Road House...a real bad-ass (excuse my language). In the eighties Sam looked like the picture on the left below while today, he looks like the picture on the right below (from the movie The Golden Compass). Why do wrinkles make a man look rugged, tough and desirably masculine, while they make women look aged and worn? Ah, but I digress.


















Actually, I'm going to digress more. I'm a farm girl at heart. I grew up in a family that raised cattle and hogs and farmed land...mostly wheat. At different points in my life I drove tractors and combines, bottle-fed baby calves and spent every other Sunday morning with my family chasing in the pigs that had escaped to destroy mom's vegetables and flowers while we attended church.


One thing particularly irritated Pop: when people called all cattle cows. He instructed us, somewhat vehemently, that cows were female cattle that had calves, bulls were male cattle, heifers were female cattle that had not had calves and steers were castrated bulls. I often heard the phrase "try like a steer," though I didn't understand it until, well, later.


Do you get the idea? I had understood clearly since my youth that cattle with udders were the equivalent of female, breast-feeding, mommy cows. So, imagine my confusion when "Ben" first showed on the Barnyard scene as you see him in the picture above with a deep, masculine, Sam Elliott voice, then appeared full-body onscreen looking like this:





Sam Elliott with breasts??? Ack!


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