Interruptus Muchus

Following is a conversation I had on my cell phone (on a hands-free headset, of course) with my sister, Ashley, this afternoon. After getting a busy signal several times, I finally got through (you know, as stay-at-home-moms, all we really do is talk on the phone and watch soap operas).

Me: "Yea! I finally got through!"

Ashley: laughter

Me: "I'm driving Hannah to ANOTHER Dr. appointment and just wanted to kill some time. Do you have time to chat?"

Ashley: "Yeah. Let me get my kids down for a nap and I'll call you right back."

Me: "Yeah, yeah. I've heard that one before. Meanwhile, two hours later..."

Ashley: laughing "I'll call you right back."

Surprisingly, five minutes later:

Ashley: "I got your e-mail."

Me: "The YouTube video? The one with the lady singing everything she says to her children in a 24-hour period, in a 3-minute ditty to The William Tell Overture?"

Ashley: "No, the e-mail about building a cathedral. What are you doing???"

Me: "Who are you talking to?"

Ashley: "Ethan." (muffled conversation in the background)

Me: "What's going on?"

Ashley: "Ethan just went to the bathroom and now he needs to go again." To Ethan: "Hurry up and get back to bed!"

Hannah: "Tockuh Ashee?"

Me: "You can talk to Ashley when I'm done."

Hannah: "Oh. OK."

Ashley: "I didn't get to read all of it..."

Me: "...but you got the gist of it. That was good, wasn't it?"

Ashley: "Yeah. I've seen a better rendition of the YouTube video you e-mailed me, though. In the one I saw, a guy sings about bedtime to the tune of Pachelbel's Canon in D."

Me: "Oh yeah? How does that go?"

Ashley hums a tune, then breaks her humming with, "NOW what???"

Muffled voice in the background.

Me: "Who is it?"

Hannah: "Tockuh Ashee???"

Me: "In a little bit, Hannah." To Ashley, "I don't see how anyone could sing a ditty to that. I don't think you have the right song."

Ashley: "It's Isaac. Now HE needs to go to the bathroom."

Ashley hums another tune as she tries to find the YouTube video online. More muffled voices in the background. Ashley really needs a mute button.

Me: "What did he say?"

Ashley: "He wants me to close the bathroom door because there are monsters in the bathroom. I ought to tell him that the monsters only get you when you take longer than five minutes in the bathroom during naptime." To Isaac "Now don't get up again!"

Me: "Or you could tell him they come up through the toilet after five minutes."

Ashley: "That's just mean. He'd never sit to potty again."

Hannah: "Tockuh Ashee? Me???"

Me: "IN A LITTLE BIT, HANNAH!" To Ashley: "Now, what were we talking about???”

Ashley and I both have college educations. Of course, Ashley actually earned a degree. I just have hours and hours of college credit with nothing to show for it. Nevertheless, this is how 85% of our conversations go.

How did we get reduced to THAT?