Happy Mother's Death Day

For Mother's Day this year we travelled to Wichita to pick up the ski boat we purchased from Carl's sister. I was a little disappointed to be spending "my" day on the road (though I was the one who suggested it), but my disappointment became surprised joy when I realized Katie and Hailey had made Mother's Day cards and presents for me and brought them along just to make the day special.

My "surprised joy" transformed to hilarity when I read my card from Hailey:

For the record, I have never said or even hinted that I wanted to kill myself. Where the heck did that come from???

Then when I got to the end of my card, I began to wonder if Hailey had some diabolical scheme in place to send me to my eternal reward...

I recalled this post (you can click on the words "this post," though you can't tell with a dark background) and began to see a pattern. Am I safe in my own house? Do I have a couple of Menendez brothers (sisters) in the making? I'm repeating here for the record: If I die under mysterious circumstances...

I think I'll go cancel my life insurance policy.

Dandy Wisdom

"Hannah, where does milk come from?"

"A cow."

"Where does bacon come from?"

"A pig." Hannah grins. She's on a roll now.

"Okay, Hannah, where do eggs come from?"

"Chicken butts."