Before I departed from home I couldn't find my key to the church, so I had to wait until someone arrived at 8:15 to unlock the church. That left me with forty-five minutes to plan and organize. Plenty of time, though not as much as I would have liked. I plugged in the headphones and got to work, keeping my eye on the clock, but planning to use my family's typical just-in-time appearance as my cue to pop in the entrance hymn's disc.
Bad idea. My family arrived late. The altar boy poked his head into the choir loft to signal me to begin while I still donned headphones, listening to the wrong 3.5" floppy. Flustered, I ripped the headphone cord from the piano, ejected the disc, inserted the appropriate floppy and quickly pushed the buttons.
The introduction played, though more softly than I expected. Just as I pushed the volume button to the maximum level, it stopped altogether. What??? My heart raced, adrenaline surged through my system and I developed tunnel vision. I knew how to operate the damn piano when it worked, but I had no idea how to troubleshoot. I could feel the waves of tense curiosity from the people below, wanting to turn and look at me but forcing their attention forward. I almost said shit into the microphone when suddenly the piano's demo played five or ten seconds of this at an unbelievable decibel before I could turn it off:
In a frenzy I pushed anything I could find to quiet the crazed organ, took a deep breath, pressed the six buttons, then hit "start."
It happened again! People snickered below. I hit eject, fumbled for the final-hymn's disc, announced a different song and it successfully ran.
Thank the good Lord Mass continued uneventfully, though I got nothing out of it.
4 comments:
You. Are. So. Funny.
Oh- sorry. You weren't TRYING to be funny, were you?
Hey, will you come out to CO this summer? Estes? If so, do you know when? Where do you usually stay?
xoxox
That is hilarious... those things always happen to me too.
Hopefully, this is not a duplicate comment, Blogger hasn't liked me today and won't let me leave messages.
Ang- It is even funnier when you write about it....too bad you can't publish this one in Guidepost. I love it!!
Sheri
Laurie: When I TRY to be funny, people look blank. When I try to be serious, people laugh. Go figure.
I've really been pushing for a Colorado vacation this summer, probably in Winter Park/Frasier (our usual), though Carl is angling for a change. He keeps mentioning Estes.
Tara: Nope, no duplicate comment. Sorry Blogger is buggy for you today. I envy your Wordpress, but am too nervous to change. I'll have to look through your blog for a funny moment. Recommend a specific post?
Sheri: You got me thinking...but I don't suppose anyone would recognize "Grieg's Piano Concerto in A Minor." I certainly wouldn't have before wasting two hours online trying to figure out the concerto's title (title?). Plus, I'll bet Guideposts has never ever published the "s" word. Do you think they would even laugh at the idea of almost swearing into the mic? Probably not. :)
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